ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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