he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize