I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
