you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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