Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
