If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just googled if crying burns calories
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
