she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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