Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
