"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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