All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
