You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
