i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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