if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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