I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You don't make any sense
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