just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
