I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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