i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My ass is underappreciated
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
