dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
