You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
