At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
