Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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