forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
