Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Randomize
