There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
