Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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