I will die if light touches me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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