i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
