I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
