Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
