Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
