Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
