he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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