In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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