He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
