AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I am midnight drunk by noon
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
