He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
