He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
