What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
