I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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