We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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