i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
