Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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