There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
