the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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