I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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