New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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