It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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