Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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