He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
