There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Randomize
